It all started after a few Beemer drivers took turns without being honked at, screamed at, or flicked off.
These Beemer drivers realized that the turn coincided with a clicking sound and a flashing light, they could only deem as a distraction to them, and an aid to other drivers on the road. One Beemer driver stated, "I was texting a friend while driving 60 mph in a school zone, when my hand accidentally knocked a switch on the steering column. I was frightened by the noise and the flashing lights, and decided to turn right and pull over to find out what was going on. After completing the turn, I realized that I had not angered anyone on the road with my driving and that's when it all hit me. I'd unassumingly used my turn signal to make a legal and safe road maneuver." The Beemer driver added, "Well you can imagine my fury at this. Why on earth would BMW install these useless gadgets in my vehicle. This car was meant to be a status symbol. I don't use turn signals, because I'm a BMW owner and that means I shouldn't have to obey any 'rules of the road' because I'm better than everyone else."
Later that day, that same lawer/Beemer driver was last seen making an illegal left turn without his turn signal, when an on-coming semi sped up and ran him over, just in the knick of time. Said the semi driver, "It was a very close call, I was driving through this school zone at 2 miles an hour, and my No Doz pills were wearing off, luckily, the eight ball I did had just kicked in, and I was able to accelerate fast enough to make sure he was dead on impact. All in a days work really. Now, if you don't mind, my eight ball is wearing off, and I need to get back to running cars off the highway."
This video was played at the lawyer/Beemer driver's funeral, as his eulogy:
BMW: The Ultimate Asshole Machine
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