Monday, January 24, 2011

Think Positive - Moving on after Bears lose to Packers


For Bears fans everywhere, this Sunday's loss to the Packers in the NFC title game is the worst in the team's history.  But there is little use in dwelling on the subject, as nothing you say or do will reverse the end result.  No, it is better to just move on with your life and restore your sanity.

Here are some positives you can take with you:

  1. Who really wants to make a trip to Dallas!!
  2. You can finally wash that stinky ass Bears jersey that you kept dirty in a desperate superstitious act to give the team that extra bit of luck.
  3. Take back your relaxing Sundays, with no more near-heart-attack-inducing fits of rage and feelings of hopelessness from close wins or losses.  Or use them to complete your honey-do-list.
  4. You can finally say "I told you so" to Cutler supporters.
  5. Maybe now you won't get that DUI on Superbowl Sunday?
  6. Fix your now damaged relationship with your significant other.  With no more fantasy football addictions, playoff rituals, drunken nights boasting about how the Bears will win the Superbowl, or gambling debts to worry about, you can spend more carefree time with your real family.
  7. Packer fans would have only insisted the Bears & the NFL teamed up in a massive conspiracy in order to knock out Green Bay, and this could have gone on for years, incessantly.  This way they can just drink their way into oblivion and Wisconsin will benefit enormously from all the tax money and DUI fines collected in the following weeks.
  8. You can finally say "I told you so" to Lovie supporters.
  9. Are the Steelers really the team we wanted to beat to get our next Superbowl?  We deserve better.  Plus we would have beaten another Pennsylvania city in a major championship [Blackhawks win 2010 Stanley Cup over Flyers], and that just doesn't seem fair to a state that really has nothing else going for it.
  10. If we win another Superbowl, we'll finally have to stop talking about the 85 Bears, and nobody wants to do that.
  11. Meh, its only a game.  I know this is the only one you'll really have a problem with, but when you say that phrase, in all seriousness, to a Packer fan, the reaction will be priceless, and the drunken retorts will fall to the ground harmlessly.  But seriously, don't let it get to you, it really is just a game.
Bear saying hi to a Packer fan